She

So my life is going great.. and fine.. actually enjoying ma bacheor life with ma intimate friends
and family....

if you are riding in bike, or in your personal car you would be missing most important opportunity
to observe the life of others...

Greeto, I dont know what should i call him, a friend, brother, philosopher, sometimes I felt that he is an mirror image of mine, but sometimes an inverted image of mine, Sometimes he act like a brave man, Sometimes a coward who can’t tell his love to his love. I didn’t give a place in my heart for him, but he just take some portion from there. He would be surprised if he read this story completely

@ Nehru Park 4.50 PM
*********************

It's our new place for hunting (Vaynottam).

He took a pen and write these lines in his diary

"Isn't it unfair of the windows to punish the breeze that carries the fragrance of sandalwood?

Is silence the reply of the eyes to my question of love?

My love, it would just take a moment to express my love


But to actually prove it, I need a lifetime"

I just started ma mission in that time, and he was busy with his new poem. After some minutes the park was filled with lot of girls and boys.
we were sitting far away from the crowd, since it's better place for our mission. After minutes i found a group of nuns standing near the road, actually they can see us.
After some seconds Greeto finished his poem and joined with ma mission, and we started talking about the girls around there

Greeto: MMM, Look at yaar, She is an Angel.. Look at her eyes, it's Shining Na ?

me: Yes Buddy mmm, Look at the green one, She is looking at me, what if she going to say, if i asked to go for a dinner?

Greeto: Hmmm, My entire life is hanging by the edges of your eyes?
Me : mmm, Enough.

Like this... we spend 30 mts there.

now my eyes were deflected by a Nun, she was waving her hand at us,

I just kicked Greeto's leg, and said she is calling there..

Greeto: Can we just escape.
me: No, just come, I think she wants to talk with us

we just walked near to her

Me: Hi sister,

nun: Hi,am Mary, I just want to tell a story about girl, if you are intrested

me, Greeto: mmm, actually we were bit confused..
nun: I kow what you were doing there.. and you have to listen this, otherwise you cant understand what my children were thinking...

Me: what, what you are talking about ?

Mary: Just be calm

Greeto: Okey we are ready to hear you.

Nun: okey, we are from Pope Paul Mercy Home, and these boys and girls are (with uniform) are my childeren, some of them are mentally retarded, some of them don’t have ability to talk, hear, and can you see a girl who covered her face and sitting behind your bench?

me: Missed her.

Greeto: Yah,

Mary: can you just observe her?

me: Okey, Now i can see her long beautiful hands were shivering... what’s happening to her .. and she was wiping her face with towel.. and she repeaded again and again i cant understand her problem, she is crying.. wiping her face.. again crying, I said

Mary: Her name is Nima, her father burnt her face before 1 year, and she just loose her mind and eyes.
she was so beautiful, and i know why his father did it to her, But i can’t tell it now.
one year....one year i didn’t see any emotions from her side, now i see something, may be your words hurt her a lot. Am so sorry to tell like this, but you both have to help me, you know one thing these kids don’t like these type of public place, heights, water... that’s why i bring them here. I want to tell the world that they have words, they have voice, they have emotions, and i want to show the people that they exists.

Do you know, i have a dream, i just want to take each of these Children to the top of the Everest, and want to hear what they are saying there, and want to feel what they are feeling now and want to hug them with love and pride, I just dont wan to pull them in to the dark room.

can you help me? please ??

me : am just little bit puzzled, confused.. I just looked at Mary's eyes..

At that time Greeto take two steps back and looked at me, I know what he was thinking at that time.
He just ran away from the scene and stopped near Nima, and Sat nearer to her..

Nima: Sister am i Beautiful???

Greeto: Yes you are,

"You and you alone, are the seven colored one,

You and you alone, are the one who fills my mind with all the colors

My shadow/soul, seven colored one, one who fills my mind with colors

You are something beautiful, why are you so distant?

Are you a dream or a figment of my needs? Oh seven colored one!

This time at least, Tell me where this wild wind is going stop a while

' Your eyes touched me so, that there were delicate drops flickering

My heart realized/felt it"


The words was just flowing from his mouth, and he touched her cheeck I can see some tears from Greeto's eyes. I cant hear what they were talking now, But I can read it from her face, she was so happy, and my Buddy too

me: isn’t it beautiful sister? I just turned ma head, i didn’t see her there.. where she was gone ? I just asked myself, after some time i found her, she was carrying a girl to slide on a slider,

me: Hi Sister,

Mary: Hi,

Me: Thank u, Thank you for everything, You have just opened our minds and eyes.

Mary: me, How ? I dont know you ?? why you are thanking me ?

me: what?? you just told a story, and we were there..and you just showed us Nima?

Mary: How did you know her? please don’t disturb her? she is... I cant tell it.. Please it's none of your business

I just called Greeto and described everything to him, and he was shocked and didnt shut his mouht for minutes

me: whats happening ? maybe she was acting like that, to avoid our presence,

Greeto: no, she won’t lie

me: Hmm, may be some hallucination ?

Greeto: no, bcoz we both saw her, feel her..

me: maybe she is real mother Mary? maybe she want to tell her message through our mouth, maybe she cares Nima most, maybe she is caring us special to spread her message, maybe she just want to take all these children to the Everest, world’s top place to see the whole world.

Greeto: Look at this...

Now Greeo is pointing at a statue, mother Mary raising a baby in air in her hand...

Greeto Looks speechless now, we just walked out slowly from there, and didn’t talk anything more..

we just turn back our heads, Nima Looks Happy now, and the sister is busy with playing with kids, Suddenly she just raised a kid in air, and looked at us and winked, we could hear her voice now " I want to raise these Kids", "I want to show this world that these Kids exists", "They have a voice in the world", “ this little world is existing for them too “

we just walked to our home, may be this is a story of two mad minds, hallucinated minds or may be something exists that we don't believe today.

Thank You 

A Christmas Gift

Am afriad to tell this story since this story may end ma story


I dont know the consequences of this story.. But i have to tell this. It's not a great big story
But it's something different something funniest event in me and ma friends life..

College days are most beautiful days in our life, this is an event from that life, with m a friends Sajin, navani

First Sem
**********
now am sitting like an Idiot and ma friends are making some fun with the girls.

it was Christmas celebration in our college. Mr. Navani, he had lot of girl friends and one of them invited and all the boys especially Navani.
Thala was Navani's Petname.

On Chrismas Day
***************
a call from thala: can u come with me to her House?
I said no, Since have some other engagement on that day
He called Sajin, But ha had also some other business

He made a conference call with me and Sajin,
We have to go.. She would expect us.. More over i promised to come, thala said..
hmm what i will do now, I cant refuse ma frined's request, and decided to go with him.
Sajin also agreeed to join with us

Amma, I have a party today in ma friend's home, dont want food today I told to Amma.

"In School life we don't have money and freedom
in college we have freedom but don't have money
after college we have money but don't have time" I remembered the lines

I just remember these quotes when i check my pocket...
Hmm 70 R/s

Thala would take the money, i said to my self

we met together at shakthan stand.

Do u have money, thala Asked
Yah,70 Rs

30 Rs to and 30 Rs for from journey 10 Rs for some light foods, Thala calculated in his head, he is good in maths, i thought my self..

we reached valappad and her house is 5Km distant from the bus stop,

we took a long journey.. we were welcomed by soft breeze, tall trees, huge ponds

we were talking abut the food that would be served in her home through out our journey.
Sajin loves Butter Chicken and chappathi, ... some fruits and ends with Ice cream and fruit salad
'
navani is Pure Vegeterian and he likes sambar, kalan, pickles, payasam, pappad... He is A Brhamin Too, But None can Beleive it.

in ma case just need biriyani, curd, soft drinks, or mango, Pine Apple Juice...

we called her and she guided us to her home..

it was huge house, a palace I think.. lots of people were gathered there.. i dont know y

when we arrived there felt to run away from there..

A group of people were looking at us like Indian soldiers pointing their gun to a Pakstan terrorist
hmm

My god.. What is happening to me..ma head was spinning on ma neck.

@ home
*******

we were welcomed by little girls and boys.. we three get shocked when we saw a big gun on the wall

Aliya Run, I said but they were not listening it ... no the words are not coming from ma mouth

I kicked Navani's leg.. I think he was freezed he was not feeling anything this time..

Her father was former Indian Military officer

My god.

why you are standing there, Just take your seat.. strong voice from behind

Her father was standing behind us.. large moustache, 7" height huge hands and chest wearing black pant and T shirt

hmm

I think Thala lost his conscious

He didnt utter a word after reaching her home

Sajin.. he was busy in looking at the other girls..
Sit down

He barked
hmm
we slowly sat on the sofa

hmm, so who r you? what u want?

mmm, Thala, sajin they were not looking at his face

so... seena.. she is our class mate
oh..mm okey.. then ?
she just called for the dinner..
oho.. we dont know abt it
hmm
I stared at thala and Sajin

I dont have any thing to say..

can i get something to drink... voice from thala... i thought he swallowed his tongue bcoz of his hunger

he called his wife...
After some minutes our table was filled with Mango Juice and Pazhampori

Thala placed his hand on the plate like a magician, after seconds everything on the plate was disappeared
and take 4 more pazhamporin and placed it on the gaps betn the fingers of his right hand

me and sajin gupled the juice and stared at him

you will get nice Non vegetarian food..it's ma turn, Thala said.
ho.. everything was finished

so it's over.. her dad said

Dad: yah.. so what's next ?.

when I hear the letter "F" from (Food) from thala's mouth ijust kicked thalas leg, and stared at him.

okay.. we just came to see her
that's all
Happy Christmas
we want to catch the bus and want watch a movie, I said

okey.. He said

Dont you eat from our home.. Voice of her mother

A little hope from the distant star.. The voice was so feeble to hear
hmm

when her dad saw the letter "Y"(Yes) from ma mouth

no.. They want to watch the movie.. and it's too late for the movie her dad replied

yah.. i said

okay thank u for your treat

See you later

Bye

do u want a car? A lift... Her father asked.. They have about 5 cars in their sheds

its all right.. you are youth.. And he pointe at thala and said, you need some excercise, ot's good for your body, every one laughed,

can we (sajin, me) get the lift.. I said..
Suddenly... Don't leave your friends alone, Her Dad barked

Don't worry.. it's nice to walk at night...

we waved our hands, but we didnt see any one outside there... but i can see seena behind the curtains in the second floor.. What we are now ... Some sort of beggers... hum..
why did she call us.. for humiliating us.. Hmmm... Still I don't Know.



we walked out from the house..

We felt 5 Km Journey like 50 Km

Hmm.. On the way to bus stop we didn't speak anything
no money.. No food
what would we do now

at last reached bus stop

Our stomach was boiling for food and water..

we were walking... with hunger, thirst and some bad feelings

our tongues was waiting for a drop of water

I cant walk one more step.. Thala said
Me too.. Sajin begged
hm... please guys.. we would loose our Bus.. I said
Come on.. 10 more steps

Thirst and hunger were overpowering our strength
I just dragged thala with ma hands..

we were sweating and breathing heavily.

after minutes nature was blessed us with a soft rain..
we recovered our strength walked again......

@ 11.40

luckily we Got A KSRTC bus..

I reached at home..

ma mother was not slept yet ... kanna Do u want food? She asked..

yes amma.. I need.. Ijust eat the food like a Somali an Boy...

“There's a story behind everything. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story. Because hers is where yours begins.” I thought

On next day i called both of ma friends, they were not reached their home yet, since they loose their last buses to their homes...

Hmm, they were sleeping inside a temple on that last night..

it was an memorable Christmas Gift...

Dog Tag

what 's an dog tag...

its a chain worn by soldiers which identify their name, number and Battalion name... would be carved on it.

this story deals with ma imaginations thoughts and observations kept in ma brain for couple of days..

" Only the dead see the end of war".. this is the sentence which haunted ma mind, heart and brain for developing this story.

if the dead see the end of a war then dog tag which hanging around their neck would also be seen the war and end of his master too.

(Here 'Me' means ma conscious mind and 'Me*' means ma unconscious mind)



Assam May 30,1990 Wednesday 04.00 AM
**************************************

Actually I don't love this job... I said my self.. Collecting the dead's belongings.. climbed a large mountain searching for dead bodies... hmmm.. Nothing found now... Most fking job I have ever done..

I can smell the dead bodies surrounding me.. some are deformed.. some are partially burned and some don't have eyes, faces... hmm i cant describe more now

I took gulp of Rum in ma hand to sedate ma mind and brain... This job is Killing me, I said to my self



I walked along the grass... The fog is getting closer to ground.. cant see anything

Suddenly something hooked on ma Boot... Its a Dog tag... Pride of an Soldier...

I just took it...

Me: Hmmm got another National Hero...

Me*: Hmm, is he died? yah may be... cant see any sign of him..

I carefully examined it

Me: There is some blood drops on it...

Me*: may be he died by shot on his chest.. But i can see some burnt part on it's sides..

Me: May be he died by some sort of grenade or some kind of explosion

Me*:Yah,, i just flipped the tag.. then i found something carved behind it..

Me. It's written as " June".. May be his date of Birth...

Me*: May be he is still alive... May be i can meet him after some search...

Then I moved through the dense forest.. cant see anything.. But i found a gun and some shells on the ground..

what's it mean?

Me*: may be the enemy fired at him.. he may be wounded and they attacked with their grenade...

Hmmm...

any way it's none of ma business to find him.. they only said to me to collect the belongings of soldiers..

and I don't want this tag too. since its valueless to me...

So I threw it away..

I can still smell the partially burnt dead bodies... for what sake these people doing this...to get some land... To get Pride... For Jihad...hmm I thought

after some walk I saw a partially burnt hand and Bayonet(knife).

It was quite odd to me.. hmmm

Me*:How did he lose his hand.. why Bayonet was here... I thought

Me: After sometime I got some flash lights in ma mind like someone whispering near to ma ears.. May be he was attacked by the enemy with fire gas and Ak47... May be he want to discover his body by the army... may be he wants to inform someone he care most that he was died...

so he didn't want to burnt his body completely... He took his Bayonet and cut his right hand with dog tag while he was burning..

god i did a big sin, I regret myself.

I run along the mountain again.. Searched here and there.. after a long search I found the tag, the pride of and honor of a soldier, who sacrificed his life and dreams for the mother country.

I just took it and put it in ma pocket .. Close to ma heart...

Still i can smell him, Feel him.. Touch Him...may be its still beating like living heart. it wont stop until it reached the proper hands.
his soul may be happy now... On ma way i took every tag from every body...

I felt Proud to be a part of it.. A part of their sufferings part of their sacrifices and more over abt ma job.

now I can hear more voices in ma ears.. i can still feel the breath and beats in ma hands.. may be they are all waiting for the time in which they felt proud
to be a part of the victory in war, and became war hero's in their mother country.



Army Base @ Night
*****************

I want to see the person who changed ma mind.... and i want to know abt him... and the one he cared most...
So I took the tag to the information database and typed his number and got the result

" Naik Vijay".. hmmm
Me: So what is June..

Me*: I searched a lot of his file and talked with his friends.... Then i called to his Home..

Me: Is it Naik Vijay's home, am from Army
Other (Person): yes.. wait a minute. June Someone is calling from Army...

I cut the phone...

Me*:June May be his wife, mother or daughter. He might be carved her name on his tag when he missed her most.

Vijay I know what you are thinking now, I will do that now..
He wants to send his tag to his family...

June 1 Assam
************
June, I can feel You now... I can see you there, like these clouds, would be rain at any moment.. God will help you... The rain just started...
again I started ma journey to the mountains to find the national hero's... to find their dreams... to find their dog tags...

A Covert Mission

Every Story has an behind story, it may be truth , false or imaginary or it may be life of someone or the life of author himself, it took 6 months to write this story and it generate from a small spark, now it’s burning in ma mind and brain. Few days before I got a call from ma dearest friend saying that she was pregnant, at that moment I got some spark on ma mind, and it helped me to bind the missing link in ma story.

It was an rainy day, I just got the train “Jammu Tawi Express”, Now am going to Kashmir, The land of war and History. I don’t know where am going, it was raining outside, I want to chose a place near to the window. Now I can see the sky through the lightening, and I can feel the rhythm of ma heart too due to the sound silence. After some time I just woke up from a deep sleep, now I see the mountains which is filled with ice, forest and soldiers who were carrying LMG and AK 47 on their shoulder.

Ma eyes were drowning in the sleep, but I dono I can’t sleep, I felt some bad omens, and I think that I am gonna die in that night. You will feel the same if you are in Kashmir.

The pupose of ma journey is to find ma old friend Vivek, and hand over his father’s Ashes to Bury it in Ganga. Vivek is in Indian Army some where near Kashmir.

@11.00 PM
Your station is approaching, He called me. I placed the big bag on ma shoulder. I called Vivek

Me: Hi Vivek, Am here.
Vivek: Okey we will be there within minutes.
Me: bye.. Engaged tune……

@ 11.30 PM

He arrived there with his fellow soldiers, He became lean and white and still he has some glows in his eyes, he was one of the most successful former chairman and captain in our college.

I gave him the Ash Bottle; He didn’t look at but just smiled, and placed it in his rain coat near to his heart, and said my father can’t forgive me. He is the last root remained for me on earth, He is the only family I have, This job it’s killing me some times, and am so sorry for this trouble happened to you too.

It’s all right buddy, I said and placed ma hands on his shoulder.. I want to see this place. Actually I don’t have word to control him

We spend some minutes on the platform, and he told me about their mission, Actually they were searching for a pregnant women, She is planning an attack on a hospital to kill Indian children born on a particular day. We don’t know any thing about her but only one Clue” The sign of Star”, We got this from RAW.

Vivek: Ma duty will be over within 3 Hours, and just stay here, We will find you, Bye, Jai Hindh.

Me: Okey, Bye JaiHindh.

I laid on the bench and got some sleep, at that moment I was woken up by some noise, Sound of a child. It was from near to child cradle(Amma thottil), and may be someone dropped the child in there I thought.

I took one cigrate and started to smoke. After some time I saw an blanket covered body moving toward the cradle, and it’s shivering due to the cold outside. After some observation theory I found it was a women, and she was weeping infront of the Cradle.
Suddenly I saw something, yah… It’s the sign of star, I saw tattoo of a star on her hand…. I texted Vivek like this “Sign of star is here Come quickly”, and I noticed the burned wounds on her hand may be torturing from their camp I thought.

Vivek and his team reached on the scene silently, and Vivek who reached at ma side . Unexpectedly we got the gun shot from the darkness; I saw the round moving like a jet just above ma head.

After some seconds we were showered with 100 s of rounds from the darkness, and we realized that they are huge in number. We can escape from here, I said

No no… They are huge in number, But they don’t have the coordination like us, he replied and made some Jesters to his fellow mates, and they started the counter attack

One, Two,…… I counted the the number of terrorists shot in the fight and our men was very quick, and finally we got every on but except one.

He suddenly took his pistol and pointed it towards the women standing.

White Knights hold your fire, Vivek Said

They stop aiming, and Vivek throw away his weapon and Bullet Proof, and walk towards the terrorist. They were talking some thing, I cant overhear what are they talking about, suddenly vivek took his pistol hide in his back and shot on his head.

Yah, we won the fight, I said it in ma mind. And took another Cigrate to smoke, Suddenly I was trembled again by another sound of shot, I was shocked and looked through a small hole, this time women, she was firing with an AK 47 which hide in her blanket, she was one of them, I said it in ma mind.



@ 2.30 Am

She was gone, I just reached Vivek and took the ashes from his pocket, now it’s covered with blood.

Why did she do this ? I just asked myself, why did she do this to these Soldiers. At the end of the fight they saved from your Copartner who turned against you.

May be you want to take the best part from our side, so that you can easily execute your plan and your younger generation would be safer in our land than yours, and you can take them after they got the wings to fly or maybe you thought that pride is something above the love.


After few days after that incident……………

I took the ashes of both son and father and give it to the hands of ganga, now i am the only root remained here on earth for both of them for this, I diluted the ashes in the pure Ganga with few drops of tears.

@ Railway Station

Again “Jammu Tawi Express” way to home, Sky is still pouring the water drops , and took a place near to window, ma mind was blank, why did I come here , I am the only reason for the death of these innocent people and ma best friend, I cant sleep at that moody night.

@Home.

I checked ma mail, and I got an anonymous mail from a user named “Sign of star” , with thank you sir as subject

The mail content was like this “ what u have seen is an part of our play, and a plan. Captain Vivek was an efficient officer and when he became a threat to our community we initialized an operation to kill “Vivek” “Sign of stars”, and we sent a fake information about our plan to your agency . After that you came there and played the beautiful part in our mission, you were a knight in our chess board, a dark one.

I just press the reply button and said, “ Till the end of ma first meeting with vivek your script was perfect, but after that we changed the story, I was your dark knight but you didn’t see or you didn’t take care about the white knight, yah operation “White Knight”. Everything you have seen is a play in a play, and Captain Vivek is not dead, and your building would be surrounded by 100s of Indian Soldiers, we had known that the operation “sign of stars” was a fake one the only thing want to know was your location and your motive. Now it’s crystal clear and I want to say it “Check Mate”, and Jai Hindh.

Please Don't Kill me :)

Everything u have seen is an part of a game…. I said to ma friends named Chinnu, Navi, Beni. Chinnu came towards me and slapped on ma cheek and said “U cheat”, Navi folded his fist and punched on ma nose, Beni started his punch with some “F” words that I have never heard.

Me. I am sorry friends… I was just kidding.
Chinnu: No, Niranj u have cheated everybody, we can’t believe you… and from here we are no more friends, Let’ s go Beni, Navi, she said

The three of them moved and faded into the darkness by leaving me alone in the seashore. I didn’t feel any pain on ma cheek and stomach, may be the after effect of vodka that I had before our meeting.
The one thing I want to tell u that it’s a true story, may be you can assume it as a story of a loser, a cheater who cheated his friends for his own personal interest.

I don’t know why I did it to them and to her, but I felt hurt at that time, I just wanted to make a revenge. I laid on the sand and looked the sky, the clouds were floating above ma head, the moon and stars were talking something each other, murmuring something, may be something about me or what I have done. I just closed ma eyes, and some flash backs flashed on the sky.

I saw you yesterday
I lost myself when I sighted you
My heart became like sieve
Where did I go without seeing you
Days were wasted due to that

You are the moon in the sky
I drain myself longing for you
Why don’t you come with me right away

You gave your shoulder to bury my head
You held my hands and came nearby
Why you are not ready for lip lock?

This was written on ma diary when I saw her first time. I had lot of emotions, thoughts about her, but failed to express my emotions.

One day I decided to tell her what I feel now, but she didn’t replied. After some days got some rumors about her like she had a boy friend and they would get marry soon. I didn’t see things around me and I wanted to forget her.

I told everything to ma friends. Don’t worry Niranj, you will get another girl, they said.
It was most upset day in ma life, I wanted to forget everything, so I walked towards the door of Bar, and poured 3 glasses of vodka into ma mouth.


@7.30 PM

I was day dreaming without sleeping
my life was freezing when I didn’t come near you
where is future for me without you?

I wrote it in ma mind, and wandering along the street. I reached home, and jumped on ma bed, covered ma head with blanket
No, I cant sleep today, I wanted to do something.

@8.30 PM

I opened ma Laptop, and started to goggle talk. None was there, what would I do now.
I just wanted to hack in to ma Ex girl friend’s account so that I could see her new boy friend.

I attempted a lot of tricks (I can’t explain it now) to hack into her account, none was there in her chat list except “navi”, “Beni”,”chinnu”. My brain was creating some plans, so I started a chat so that they would think that she was chatting with them, an anonymous chat from her account.

Me: Hii
Friends(Beni, navi, Chinnu): Hii
Me: I wanted something to say , and don’t tell it to anyone.
Friends: OK
Me: I love “Niranj”, I am ready to give up anything.
Friends: But you have a boy friend, you were engaged.
Me: Yah, I can’t, I can’t avoid his love.
Friends: Ok, Did u expect any help from our side?
Me. No, Plz don’t tell anything to him.
Friends: Then what do u want now? Why didn’t u tell it?
Me: I don’t knw, but I realized that his love is pure.
Friends: No use, 
Me: Yah, I know… If he said a word I would give up everything, including ma family and ma boy friend for him.
Friends: OMG, we only have one day, and your marriage would be on day after tomorrow
Me. Yah, I know…. Mmmmm Please help me 
Friends: Ok I will.


@ 9.30 PM

Yepee, I closed ma lap. Now I set the fire. I got a sound sleep on that night, but ma friends didn’t I think.

The three of them called me 10 times but I didn’t take up the phone, since I was in deep sleep.

@7.00 Am….. Morning
Your friends are here, he is upstairs, ma mother told them. I took a deep breath.
Niranj, we have to do some work, plz come with us quickly, they said.

Ok ok, where ,I said. It’s not time for a talk, get ready ASAP.

I took a blue Jeans and black shirt.

Nooooo.. Please I can’t come to her house, I said.
Chinnu: U have to, Please come with us, we have a plan to do.
Me. No, not this time.
Chinnu: Come on Niranj, I want to talk with her.
Ok Ok, what’s the matter , I replied.
We would say it , not now only after everything is finished, Chinnu said.

We reached her home, and it was decorated with lights and flowers, her family members were there. I didn’t recognize any one except her mother, since she got her mother’s eyes, I said in ma mind.
A that moment I got some clues about their plan, oh yah. They believed ma Anonymous Chat with them, and they are going to act for it, what should I do now?

My god I wanted to escape from this situation, luckily she was not there , I called ma friends and said I got pain on ma chest, please take me to hospital.

They took me to hospital in Beni’s car, hmm it’s the time to say everything to them, and I wanted to stop this Drama,,,, hmmmm but… no not this time I would say it after her marriage as a surprise.

We spend the rest of the day in that Hospital.

@7.00 AM Morning (Marriage Day)

Beni and Navi called me, we met together in “Kovilakam Bar”, we started our drink from wine to vodka. Now we don’t have any complex in our mind, free to tell anything and everything to anybody. I took the car to the marriage location.

Chinnnu called us several times, but we didn’t take the phone. She was on the location; we jumped out from the car like set of Goondas who are going to kidnap the heroine. Navi started crying at this time, and we don’t know the reason.

Now we are infront of the make up room, she was wearing a Red Saree, with marvelous ornaments. She came towards us, You looks beautiful, I said
Thank u, She replied.
Navi: We are ready to kidnap u now….
Me: what, he is kidding, what hell are u talking Navi ?
Beni: He is telling the truth, We know everything, we have the plan to escape from here, please give us a word, a single word
Me: They are in some Alcoholic mood, Don’t worry, I will take care of them, I said to her.
Chinnu: Yah, u 3 are in that mood, But me not…. So you can believe me, Just come with us, Everything is set.

This time everything in me burst out, not the whole truth but what we had in the morning in our stomach, now the whole marriage stage became pool of alcohol, and some foul smell..
We three vomited everything from our stomach. Her father, mother and family friends came there and asked to leave from there asap.

We left the place, and now we didn’t say anything together. I drove the car to a beach

@6.00 PM
We were sitting on a sea shore.
I want to say something, am sorry, sorry for everything, I said.
On that day I hacked in her account and I did the anonymous chat with you, not her, she didn’t have any knowledge about this, and everything you have seen is a part of a a game.

This is what happened, now I lose ma dearest friends I had.. I don’t have words to apologies.
I want to get back them to ma life, I visited chinnu first. I gave ma cheek and 3 liters of Ice cream to solve the issue. It’s hard to convince the girls mind, so what about the boys ?
Simple 2 bottle of their favorite brand.

I solved the whole issue within two days.

@11.00AM
I opened ma laptop, gmail automatically signed in into her account, I immediately signed out from the account, and I opened ma own account.
This time I completely shocked, got a mail from her, … it was like this

I am so sorry for ma late reply, I just want to live with you, I know you love me more than anything, I can’t avoid you, Please I can’t live without you, If you are ready to come with me please come tomorrow in the railway station, I would be waiting for you there, Please Don’t come to ma home.

Wow, on that day I didn’t check my mail, I wasted ma whole time for drinking, hacking and anonymous chatting with ma friends, I didn’t thought about my account too.

Now I have two options, 1. Bar 2. Pen. The first option is the reason for everything happened to me, so I opted the second one and started with the line “ Everything you have seen is an part of a game, part of an illusion done by god not by me”

Hmmm, I took a deep breath.
It just takes a moment to say "No"
To actually come to terms with it
I need another birth
If there is love, Come and blend in with my eyes.
If you are stopped by time, Come and blend me with the sand.

END

For My Friends

June 15, 2011,
6.15 PM –Rainy Day

The Clouds were floating above our head, we means “180” trainees ‘who undergone one year continuous and vigorous training, and now we were going to separate. I decided no to shed a drop of tear from eyes. Ma intimate friend “Bairavan” came there and climbed on the open stage holding a glass of whiskey and made a speech, a memorable one in our life,and he started his speech with deep breath, we felt we were in a middle of war and we were going to die within hours, exactly like in an English war movie.. it was like this

Gentlemen, we were joined here before one year to separate. These 12 months of sufferings gave us a strong backbone, which would not bend before anybody, a strong protective hands, fearless heart and sharp eyes to see the things which ordinary eyes couldn’t see. We were bound together by blood, 12 months we loved together, fight together, share everything together including your bed time secrets with your wives, enjoyed and suffered everything together and we would not say it anything of these to anybody, because it’s our pride our honor. Gentlemen we came here to separate. We may not meet again in future, but we will keep our bonds of love in our heart. Good luck friends, Do your duty, wander in your streets, and try to find a girl and fell in love with her, enjoy your life thank you mates, God bless you.

A loud clap brought me to the conscious state, ma hands were shivering without any reason, I can feel moisture in ma eyes, Na I was not crying the raindrops were scattering on ma eyelids. He came to ma side and said “Dhanil if you are happy and you felt good in your life you don’t want to remember me or call me, But if you were in some trouble and felt that you can’t solve it, Just call me, I would be with you before you end the call.” My god I cant control the tear drops from ma eyes, he didn’t look at me and me too, It started raining. He jumped into their vehicle and waved his hands at me.

“I like to cry in the rain so that none can see ma tears “, I remembered the words of great Actor Charlie Chaplin”

Why i love violin now....

Yesterday…. Best day in ma life, memorable day, beautiful day more over I met a girl with god’s sign in her heart.

It was a usual day, raised at 7.00 Am, did some excise not for me for ma father and mother. Have ma breakfast then took ma bike, the only thrilling time in ma office life.

@ 10.00 Am :
Reached at office, the usual things programming, tracking, facebooking, browsing, giving proposals in matrimonial web sites from a fake account, chatting with girls, smsing, and searching for some adultery contents.. Blah blah virtual world, am bored with this life, should find another place, I thought.

@ 5.00 PM

Time to go Home, I thought of watching school fest, not for watching the events but to watch the girls, their relatives and sisters. So I called ma cousin for making a marathon “Vaynottam”, I ddint get the exact English word for that.

@5.30 PM

Reached at the stadium, and took a place near the gate for our mission. We started the mission. Tight jeans, T shirts, Sunglasses, Straightened hairs blah blah.. nothing special, I thought we were in an metropolitan city like Bangalore.
Let’s go am bored with this, I said to ma cousin, and took some few steps towards the gate, at that moment ma eyes were fallen on a figure, sorry on a girl, She was wearing a white saree, and a red rose on her hair, carrying a violin, with her father and mother, her eyes were lined with black ink, and I found a glow in her eyes, my heart began to sing the old song again, I became possessive again in the second time in ma life, your eyes should be always mine and should look at me in each moment of ma life, I murmured in my mind, and ma phone rang with tone

“നിന്‍ വിരല്‍ തുമ്പില്‍ അണയും കണി മുകില്‍
എന്‍റെ നെന്ജില്‍ പെയ്യാന്‍ ഒരുങ്ങവേ
എന്‍ മുടി ചാര്‍ത്തില്‍ അലയും ജലകണം
നിന്നുള്ളില്‍ അലിയും മിന്നലായ്‌ മാറവേ
ഈ മഴയില്‍ എന്‍ പാതി മെയ്യില്‍”

Phone from ma mother, I pressed the accept button and said “I will be there in 10 mts amma”. “can u bring her home kanna? She asked” , I don’t know I will ask her ama. Am talking abt your sister, she said. Oh, oops, yah I will, I said, and pressed the red button.
Oh god I missed her, searched her in the sea of girls, what should I do ? Oh Yah she is carrying a violin, so she would participate in violin events. So I enquired about the violin contest, it will start about 6.30 PM.
I searched again an again in ma google engine, but I found nothing about her.

Am tired and sat on the pavilion, at that moment I heard some weeps from ma back and turned ma head behind. There I found what I lost. Her face is covered with her towel, her eyes were filled with tear, she may lost in her competition, I thought. But something flashed in ma mind, the competition is not over now, then why she is weeping? I took a deep breath and move toward her family. What happened ?, I asked. The string of violin is out of order, and we were coming from Palakkad and we don’t know anything about this place, it is her first stage and am blind can’t do anything without other’s help, her father said.

Ok, ok then can I help you, words from ma heart, not from ma mind or brain, you can trust me, I said.
I took the violin, at that moment the first time, first moment she look at ma face and said I would come with you, I agreed with her
I placed the violin on the front side of the bike, please sit comfortably, I said to her. Now she is not looking at me, ignited the bike and moved through the worst traffic jam I have ever seen in thrichur town.

@ 6.15 PM

We reached at the repairing centre, it was an old house and decorated with bunch of violins, she waited outside the house, may be she wouldn’t believe me I thought. It’s repaired took 5 more minutes for that. I gave it back to her and started ma bike. Now we were going back to the stadium, what’s your name? I asked Divya, she said.
Me. Which standard?
Divya. 12th
Me. Do u have facebook account?
Divya. No, what’s that?
Me. You don’t know about face book, where were u coming from, I murmured.
Divya. What?
Me. Nothing, ahhhmm… Do u have number?
Divya. No….

Girls always make short sentences with complex thoughts, and boys make complex sentences with simple thoughts, I thought

Me. Do u have boy friend?
Divya. No, why u are asking this?
Me. Nothing, I thought, thought…. The same weakness of mine, don’t have subject to talk with girls….
Me. What’s your chest No?
Divya. One
Me. OMG, we reached the stadium, and the event was started already, anchor is calling her chest no.
She is here, she is here I roared, and ran towards the stage.
Where? The anchor asked to me, she is…., I turned m head and look around me.. where is she ? am I in hallucination ? what’s happening to me?

At that moment I found her, 3 people were holding her hand, and reached at the stage. It was the moment that I realized she sees, loves and feels everything through her mind and body not through her eyes. I wanted to hear her music, so I stayed, It was amazing, it was about love I think, don’t have any knowledge about music, but it feels something like sharp arrows piercing ma heart, After music she was appreciated by a lot of audience and I didn’t go there, now her eyes were glowing again, glowing with tears.

@ 7.00 PM

It’s time to go, first time I thought of learning violin, hmmm, I started ma bike, oh god I missed ma cousin, I called him, he was inside the stadium, when I reached at him he was performing some freak dance among a group of girls.
Enough, enough… we can go? The jealous part of mine said…

The things which haunted in me was,
1) She didn’t say a thanks
2) She didn’t ask ma name
3) She didn’t have facebook account
4) She didn’t say her number
5) She didn’t look at me
6) She didn’t smile.

Ok, ok may be god gave me a chance to help a blind girl. Back to home, back to usual routines.

Next day morning ma eyes captured a news from “Mathrubhumi”, It was like this….

I am Divya krihsnan, Have the same name in ma Facebook account, I created it in the previous night.

I won first prize in Violin, and am selected for trivandram music college yesterday.

I am so sorry, for not asking your name and saying a thanks to you.

Thank you very much “Chetta”, and a smiling face below these lines.

Hmmm, wow … I searched her in FB, and found her… Then I placed ma mouse pointer on “Addfriend” Button, what should I do Now?
No, not this time.. am an a unimportant part in your life, you have a good future, and you will become a great artist in your life, I don’t want to be a barrier or burden in your life, closed the page and sipped ma coffee and lookked at the sun rising from the east