Amma

I wrote this story for ma friend, once he told me an unforgettable memory in his life, memory of his mother, I don’t want to break the surprise now, like all other stories I like to narrate this story through ma eyes…

Me: amma, can u tell me a story..
Amma: hmmm, you are not slept, its almost midnight
Me: I cant sleep maa, please tell a story…
Amma: Hmmm, Okey.. Once upon a time, there was lived two little mice, they lived happily, one day they fell into cream, the first mouse gave up suddenly, the second one who struggled in the whole night, and slowly the cream became butter and the second mouse escaped from it…

I was raised by mother, and I didn’t see ma father, but I always expected him in ma all birthdays and special occasion in ma life, we were lived in a small house, there was a huge river in front of our home, my mother she was an expert in catching fishes, and it was our source of income.

She is not educated, but she is good in mathematics and she can solve any problem in seconds, the only book she read was “Das Capital”, she always liked to read it night, she is not a communist, but she believed in the principles, so she loved to participate in every march conducted by communist party.

I can still remember the words she told me on ma 17th birthday…
“Kanna” don’t cheat any girl in your life, you have to eat with me at least once in a day, you can believe in anything, Hindu, Muslim, Christian…. But I have an advice to you, make your own beliefs and rules and follow through it, don’t be afraid of any others comments, bcoz everyone in this world has right to live in their own beliefs… from today am trusting you as ma soul…

So the story starts now, it was about 19 years ago, am 9 or 10 years old, ma home was my world,

Amma: Kanna, today is your birthday
Me: hiiiiiii, will father come today?
Amma: yah, he is busy.. mmmm..yah he will come, what you want today
Me: I need a Car
Amma: why you are always need car, there is a plenty of car in your room
Me: I need a new one
Amma: Ok,

Actually two cars are (toy) there, the other cars are damaged, and I want one more car to play hit and run, I love that game, I was dreaming all this in ma mind.

You know ma mother is an intelligent women, she knows I will ask for the car, so she took an old car from ma room and wrapped in a gift box,

Ammma: Kanna, take it, she gave me the present
I unwrapped the present, I doubted and checked in ma room, I just only found the one undamaged car, I couldn’t control ma emotions and tears, I just ran towards the river and threw in to the water,

I saw ma mother at the door, I know she was looking at me, I can see her tears in her cheeks and eyes.

I looked at the water; I saw some dark clouds in the water

Amma: Kanna, its about to rain, come inside
Me: no, I wont come
Amma: I am sorry, I will buy a big car for you
Me: I don’t want it,
Amma: Then what you want
I looked at the water
Amma: do you want that car

I didn’t say a yes, but suddenly she jumped into the water, I know she is good in swimming, especially she is good in swimming in under the water, slowly the rain started, breeze became wind and wind became storm, seconds changed to minutes, minutes changed to hours, I felt fear and guilty in ma heart, the sound is not coming through ma mouth, after seconds I cried, ma sound overpowered the thunder, ma neighbors they overhear ma cry, they jumped into the water, after seconds they dragged ma mother from the hands of death…, there was something in her hand, it was that car..

Now I know why did she do this to me, we have everything except money and relatives, ma mind was too tiny to understand her situation,
She was ready to give up anything for me, she didn’t have any fancy dream about me, like to became a doctor, engineer,…. She just want me to become a human, every job has its value, the only thing you need is to love that job, she said once..
After years I became a graduate, I went for Tile Job, Construction work, Loading and unloading…. Now I know she was right,

She didn’t ask me to stop drinking, maybe she knows one day I will stop it, she won’t sleep until I came to home, one day I asked her, amma, why don’t you stop me from doing wrong things, why don’t you warn me ?
Amma: you are not a machine, and you have to do all the wrong things in this age, otherwise you can’t learn anything from this life, do whatever you like, don’t be a coward in your life, this is the only thing I can give you, freedom to choose your own path, and I know you wont disappoint me.



Days flew away,

One day in December, she destroyed the only book she loved, and lit it in front of me, I didn’t ask the reason, she slowly reached near me and said “don’t live in a dream”, maybe she loose the trust in the book or maybe she realized that the world specified in the book won’t come.

On that day I received a letter from Kerala Police Dept, to join the training, I said this to ma mother, I didn’t see any happiness in her eyes, she was always like that, but she whispered these words in ma eyes,

Did you remember the story of the mice I told you ?
Me: yah
Amma: Do u know who the second mouse is? it’s your mother

End